Putting the Soul
back in Psychology!
The lights came on...and the pity-party was finally over.
Jesus I'm sorry I feel hurt, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Since no one "makes" me feel triggered or hurt, what intellectual act inside of me is making me feel triggered or hurt?
[Can someone take a "trigger" or "hurt feeling" in their hand and stick it inside of you? No. Therefore no one can make you feel triggered or feel hurt.]
Feeling hurt is wanting love/respect from someone in every moment and not getting it. This is selfish using, proven by the fact that we don't want to ("can't") give love to someone who is unloving/disrespectful toward us.
For most of us, when we are looking like we are giving love/respect to those who are not, is usually simply lack of retaliation (caught off guard) based on surprise or fear, {fear is unloving}, or us not knowing how to respond while failing to discern with Jesus in order to try to be loving, or avoidance of conflict out of fear; not out of prudence.
Why do I want love/respect from the other person?
I think I need love/respect from them.
We typically don't want to be in a close relationship with someone we can't get love/respect from, or don't think we need love/respect from...unless there is some kind of other non-emotional benefit we receive.
Jesus I'm sorry I think I need love/respect from others in order to feel loved/respected, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Why do I think I need love/respect from them?
Feeling hurt is simply feeling unloved, while at the very least, believing the lies: "They are making me feel hurt." and "I am feeling unloved/disrespected because he or she is not loving/respecting me"...This is a false victim belief mentality (causing self-pity) because we are blaming our feelings onto the other person.
Jesus I'm sorry I am blaming feeling unloved/disrespected onto others, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Why am I feeling unloved/disrespected?
Truth: feelings are caused by what we: think, believe, expect, want/desire, don't want/don't desire, like, and dislike...
Therefore, if I feel hurt, then I believe that I have been hurt (harmed) by them; aka I believe they are emotionally harming me.
Jesus I'm sorry I believe they are emotionally harming me, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth: Thank You Jesus.
Truth: No one emotionally harms us because no one can make us have our feelings. And no, what others think, feel, say, and even do and fail to do never emotionally harms us in objective reality, because no one MAKES anyone have their feelings and we do not NEED love/respect from anyone but God; who is always freely giving love/respect to us. Furthermore, God is going to bring good out of everything that happens to us if we are willing to cooperate with Him and seek the Truth lesson(s) He wants us to learn from the situation.
If I feel unloved, then I believe I am unloved; believe I'm unloved (completely).
And I am always wanting love from them...from those who can't give it. (because they don't know how, for various reasons; most of which are their fault and some not). FYI: Most of us are just as incapable of giving love/respect when we think we are not receiving it; especially when we think we are more loving/respectful than the other whom we are in a relationship with.
Jesus I'm sorry I am making myself feel unloved, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; thank You Jesus. How?
Jesus I'm sorry I believe the lie that I am completely unloved, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, show me Your Truth, and help me feel Your Love for me; Thank You Jesus.
Jesus I'm sorry I am always wanting imperfect human beings to always give me love, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
I am a selfish using hypocrite because I'm not always loving/respecting them; especially in my thoughts and what I say about them and when I believe they are unloving/disrespecting me.
Jesus I'm sorry I am a selfish using hypocrite, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Jesus I'm sorry I (unrealistically) want love from those who cannot give it, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Jesus I'm sorry I expect love from those who cannot give it, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Jesus I'm sorry I want to make them want to learn how to be loving, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus...Why?
Truth: We can't stop feeling emotional suffering until we have the Truth (know what is causing our feelings; aka knowing what lies we believe) and receive the Truth from Jesus Christ to replace the lies, because LIES; aka false beliefs, cause suffering, just as the Truth (if we want it) causes peace, contentment, joy, love, etc.
Jesus why do I want to try to make others learn how to be loving?
I'm afraid of being persecuted/disrespected.
Jesus I'm sorry I am afraid of being persecuted/disrespected...(e.g. being selfishly used, especially when blamed)...please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus....Why?
Jesus why am I afraid of being persecuted/disrespected? I'm afraid I'll feel hurt.
Jesus I'm sorry I'm afraid I'll feel hurt, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus....Why?
Jesus why am I afraid of feeling hurt? You believe lies about feeling hurt.
Jesus what (lie) do I believe feeling hurt is?
Truth: Feeling hurt is feeling unloved, and I believe the other person makes me feel hurt and unloved when they are unloving toward me. I'm blaming my feelings.
Jesus I'm sorry I'm blaming my feelings of hurt and unloved onto others, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Jesus what makes me feel hurt and unloved?
Truth: The degree that we feel unloved, is the degree that we are lacking in virtues, are prideful, selfish, and are blocking/rejecting Jesus (Love-Truth).
Jesus I'm sorry I'm prideful and selfish, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Jesus give me Your grace to forgive myself; I do. Jesus give me Your grace to accept myself; I do. Jesus give me Your grace to offer myself to You; I do.
I still didn't feel better...I still didn't want to be around people...I still felt like I had no love to give...I still felt hurt...I still felt unloved...Then I was told to pray:
Jesus I'm sorry I'm feeling sorry for myself, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Jesus I'm sorry I believe I'm a victim, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Jesus I'm sorry I want to feel sorry for myself, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Jesus I'm sorry I want to believe I'm a victim, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
And my hurt feelings stop!!
But I still felt unloved...because the primary and only reason I wanted to be around others at this time was to make myself feel love and feel better...
...then I began wanting others to primarily want to be with me or wanting others to initiate wanting me in their daily life or wanting others to want me as their priority for attention or wanting to be invited to their gatherings...
Jesus I'm sorry I want what I don't have, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth; Thank You Jesus.
Jesus I'm sorry I am a selfish user, please heal me, fill me with Your graces and virtues, and show me Your Truth: Thank You Jesus.
Bottom Line: I didn't stop feeling unloved until I stopped focusing on trying to selfishly use others for love and instead started focusing on and doing God's will....which is to accept and be content when I am alone with Jesus, not want/expect anything from anyone, and do my work to help others.